What exactly happened while I was away? So. Damn. Much.

Let me catch you up.

With the virus gaining momentum in South Africa, the risk grew for my loved ones (and is still growing). We’re lucky enough to have no Covid-related deaths in our direct family, but people I care about were now exposed, some were hospitalised, some couldn’t be hospitalised because the hospitals were full, and some had to isolate because they might’ve come into contact with Covid/received positive diagnoses. People I knew were dying–teachers, friends and family members of friends–and my social media feeds were filling with eulogies.

Meanwhile, Kayla’s class was exposed to the virus around the end of October, and we were forced into isolation when we found out in early November. Which, of course, meant online schooling and everything that goes with that. So, when she came down with a cold a few weeks later, my heart about stopped. Just a cold, thankfully, but still. Mom-brain can be so cruel.

Our holiday plans were cancelled due to renewed lockdown protocols in Calgary. Being back in isolation affected me differently this time. Look, I’m a hermit. If I can stay home, I’m happy. Except, with rising anxiety levels, nowhere feels safe any more. For me, it’s been a season of panic attack after panic attack, and my mental state has been severely deteriorating.

I’m trying, you know? Social media has been so draining, so I just stepped away. I couldn’t interact with anyone, which made me feel like crap, which in turn made it so much harder to just comment or to just send the damn message. I’ve been easing back into maintaining an online presence, but most days are still a major struggle for me.

The worry doesn’t just turn off. And what blows my mind is how many people still–STILL–deny the existence of this virus. WTF?

We had some bad news in early January. Someone we loved dearly passed away three days before Christmas, but the news took some time to reach us via mail. I don’t have details yet, but this person was as good as family–my adopted grandfather. I’m heartbroken and kind of lost. In the past few years, there’s just been so much death in my family, and I’m so over it.

About my novel. I wrote like a gazillion words. I think the total tally was around 220k words in 2 months. Then my situation changed a bit and I had to shift focus. It’s really frustrating, if we’re being honest. All I want to do is write, but I need to set up reliable funding for my authoring before I can continue authoring.

I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve been so inspired, but can’t write because other things keep demanding my attention. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I’ve been so desperate to blog again–it’s a writing outlet.

But anyway, a related titbit of news is my brand new Patreon page. This has been a major leap out of my comfort zone. Asking people to support me isn’t easy, but I’m hoping the art given in exchange will at least bring some joy. So far, I have two drawing videos on there, as well as a few other things. Recording myself while drawing is weird, kind of like having your art teacher watch over your shoulder during class, but I’m told it’ll get easier as I keep at it. I plan to upload at least one drawing video a month, if you’re interested. Not tutorials, though. The videos are more like visual podcasts, with the drawing going on while I ramble about what’s up in my life. If you’d like that kind of thing, please consider checking out my page. I’d be forever grateful for your support.

Also, I’ve been uploading more artwork for print over on Society 6. From stickers to mugs to canvas prints, there are many different options for you to choose. Keep an eye out for more stuff–I’ve been working on some really cool designs. You can see some of my newest work on my art Instagram.

I’m also trying to create content for my author Instagram, so please send me ideas and requests if you have any. My first great love is always writing and I really, really need to finish this series.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of for now. Thanks for stopping by.

Yolandie