I’ve tried to chronicle everything throughout this double immigration journey, more so this time around than the first. Being vulnerable on the internet is difficult, but in the name of helping other immigrants through their journey, I felt I had to make myself just that – vulnerable. As a result, you might have noticed many of the posts this year have been straight up negative.
I’ve spoken about the strange emotions that follow immigration often, but I still tried to filter the intense feelings when we moved to Germany so that my other posts were unaffected by what was really going on in my life. People were shocked when I finally admitted we were miserable in Germany for this very reason. The stuff I’d put on the blog always seemed happy, after all.
This time, I filtered nothing. What I felt ended up on the blog, which was incredibly therapeutic.
We’re steadily closing in on our sixth month in Canada, and I’m glad to say that the intense depression I’ve been caught up in is lifting somewhat. I still have moments of unshakable anxiety but, for the most part, I can function and at least pretend to adult again.
It’s such a relief to feel like I’ve regained a little control. In Germany, the depression started around three months post-immigration and lasted for six or seven months. I was pretty much drowning in despair for the greater part of our first year. In Canada, I was caught in spirals and depression for about four months. An improvement, right?
It also goes to show that these things affect everyone in different ways. Even the same person will react differently to the same kind of situation if they have to face it more than once.
I can guarantee I’ll still have down days. I’m human and that’s life. For now though, I intend to get stuff done and enjoy feeling light and capable.
The point of all of this is the old cliche – this too shall pass. Just keep on keeping on, folks.
Have a good week.