Call the Ghost Busters or a necromancer–it’s me. For realzies.

I’ve been the rarest of online sightings in the past few months, but the blog suffered most. So, allow me this moment to dust off the cobwebs and breathe in the stale air…

Yes, I’m back. I’d tell you about the incredible lows my mental health has explored. Well, no, not explored. More like where it’s been morosely slothing about. But you also lived the weirdness of 2020 (2021 hasn’t been off to a great start either) so you know exactly where I’m at. It’s been tough.

The more anxious I get, the busier I typically am. And the smilier. My greatest fear is making other people uncomfortable, so I tend to hide my emotions for the other person’s sake. This means maintaining an online presence gains complexity as my mood deteriorates, and instead of hanging around with the fakest of smiles, I don’t show up at all. I didn’t want to stuff this space with storm clouds, so I didn’t come here either.

I want to try and change that.

This is my tenth year of blogging–something I dearly love–and I want 2021 to be a good ending to the decade slash send-off into the next. I’m still incredibly low mood-wise, but I want to try and navigate that while also doing what I love. The theory is that getting things done on the blog done will help with the anxiety, but I’ll update you on the success of that as I go.

Here’s to hoping 2021 will be better for us all.



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A Study of Ash & Smoke
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