What I miss is walking. Up until last Friday, I walked every single day. Making my steps was important to me, so I made sure I made them.
Then my kid woke up sick. Last Sunday, while I’d been up since before dawn to write, the house had been quiet. I’d expected just another day, but as I so carelessly spoiled at the beginning of this paragraph, Kayla woke with a fever. And I won’t lie, my world shattered.
Mom brain is a thing, folks. Mom brain paired with anxiety can be devastating. Besides that, I’m highly strung and uber emotional, and I write about plague for a living. I know how this story ends.
Within moments I’d convinced myself my kid was fatally ill, that this virus had wormed its way into our home, and that everything was about to change. I spiralled like a fighter plane going down in a trail of smoke. Honestly, life in my house is pretty dramatic (you’ll know if you’ve met me) but this moment was likely one of the most dramatic moments ever.
So, I run upstairs and wake my husband, crying and squealing that Kayla was sick. And he, as calmly as if he’d been aware for hours–bless him, by the way–takes out his phone and googles the symptoms of Covid-19, then proceeds to talk me down. Even if she had this virus, which she didn’t, going by the symptoms, she’d be fine.
And, just like that, I was fine too.
Now, with one of us sick, I decided to stay put. I could walk around the block, but that seriously anxious part of my brain didn’t want to infect anyone else, even if this was just a cold. And within a day or two, I was also sick.
For me, nine days stuck in my house felt like home. I slept a lot, especially when I was really feeling like crap. I wrote even more (we’ve breached 40k words on Book 3!) watched movies with my family, and played a board game or two. I even took a few minutes to game. I’m thinking Dragon Age Inquisition needs another playthrough, don’t you?
People like to focus on the negative ATM. Like, aargh! I can’t go anywhere! My kids are so demanding! My partner is annoying! No parties or wine or movies!
To me, the world is negative enough. This quiet time with my family means everything to me. Seeing what my kid creates in Minecraft is joyful. Hearing her reading improve is great, and watching her craft her own armour out of paper inspires me.
No, I won’t lie, the hours of silence as she chipped gemstones out of a block of plaster were welcome too. 😛 The point is, I believe this experience is bringing us closer.
To all of my peeps out there in self-isolation or quarantine, I’m thinking of you. Stay strong, stay positive, and take care. Our thoughts and prayers also go out to everyone who’s been affected by the virus.
2 responses to “I Haven’t Left the House in 9 Days”
For the first time in many years I also came to a standstill…it is a funny feeling to have days that I don’t have any school work to do. As a teacher, that was what filled my days and it felt that I didn’t have enough hours in a day to complete everything I had to do. I pray for those who’s affected by the virus. May God help us through this crisis and may families spend quality time together.
Love you, Mom.