Downtime

Hi there.

I know Mondays are supposed to be for Weekends in Pictures, but this weekend didn’t go down in that kind of way. While I do have a few photos, they’re just of stolen moments in between, and I want to keep them for our personal records.

So, this is another update post, to keep you informed and my schedule running. 🙂

I mentioned in Friday’s post that I’m up to my eyeballs in editor’s notes. My anxiety levels were in the red zone because of this, but Jan decided to take Kayla out on Saturday so I could get some uninterrupted work done. Because he’s a legend, I managed to finish editing the short story for the anthology, and it’s with a proofreader or two before I resend it to the editor. I’m glad this is out of the way for the moment (though I’m betting there’s going to be another round of edits) because I can focus on making progress with The Physician’s Apprentice until I have more short story editing to do. The angst is still niggling, but it’s a little more manageable now.

I felt bad about missing out on Jan and Kay’s Saturday-fun, so I lazed about the house with them on Sunday – my first day without any work in I don’t know how long. We built lego and hung out, ate home-made croissants and watched My Little Pony. It was awesome to shut down and just be together, amid all the craziness that’s been going on in our lives. I guess we all need some downtime every now and then.

And that’s the thing. Downtime is something I struggle with. Just this morning I read this quote on Facebook about learning to rest instead of quitting when you’re tired.

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This is still a foreign concept to me. Though quitting is out of the question, letting go of a project in order to rest is a battle too. I can’t stop thinking and obsessing about the story, even when I try to, and this obviously fuels the exhaustion. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with storylines bursting into existence from my dreams, or chat to someone over something completely unrelated and imagine a conversation between characters. I zone out, because I’m visiting a world that only exists in my mind.

The irony of it all is that I’m the first to tell other people to take a step back when they’re at the same point of crazy as me. I’m an advocate of listening to your body and resting when you need to, just not in my own life. Yes, that makes me a hypocrite, but it also makes me human.

Another thing I mentioned on Friday is that I have something to prove. And I do. This is why I don’t step back like I advise people to do when I’m concerned about them, or why I tell them I’m fine when they get concerned about me.

It’s the kind of life-lesson I’ve still got to wrap my head around, but I’ll take it a step at a time. It’s a process of growth, right? And growth usually doesn’t just fall into our laps, it takes some effort.

Why can’t adulting be easier? 😛

Before I end my rambling, I’d just like to thank everyone who’s commented or shared some of my posts in the last while. As another facette of growing, I’ve tried to talk about those topics I’m passionate about, but have been too afraid to discuss honestly in the past. When you put this much of your life on the internet, you learn to filter it. All of it is still me, but kind of at my Sunday-best, if that makes sense. Or in keeping with the current topic, it’s me, but edited. 🙂 Writing about those opinions I’ve hidden to this point is exposing, but also freeing, and I enjoy being more ‘raw’ on the blog.

Thanks also for the topic suggestions I’ve gotten. If you have more ideas, please feel free to drop me a line somewhere and I’ll get cracking on the suggested posts soon.

Hope you have a good week.

Yolandie

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