When I first started writing, I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t, but I’m growing. If there’s one thing in life I hate, it’s stagnating. I’ve mentioned this before.
Where writing is concerned, I really think I have grown and I try to learn more with every word squeezed out through my fingertips. All I want to do is share the stories in my mind with you, in such a way that you and I pass something between us telepathically, like Stephen King says. I want the stories that keep me up at night, to keep you up too.
These are my first babies.
When I read The Rise of the Exile Queen (EQ) now, I kind of smile and cringe at the same time. I still love the story and I still feel that rush when I think about how I felt when I typed out each scene. I remember the songs that were playing, the temperature and the lateness of the hour when I worked.
This was my first ever complete book, discounting the single one I wrote in high school (spoiler alert, that one SUCKED). The idea of EQ makes me happy. Something about Eva’s story will always have a special place in my heart, and writing this took me on a journey that taught me loads. It was a stairway upwards, a seedling that sprouted a tree. And that’s what makes it special.
This book, though, it’s riddled with mistakes. Info dumps as long as my arm, plot holes through which the entire manuscript could sink away, head-hops, unidentifiable tenses, and random encounters that don’t mean anything, let alone progress the story. Whenever someone mentions EQ, I wince. I get defensive. I often advise people not to read it, or beg them to ignore the glaring mistakes (if possible).
From EQ to The Song of War (SOW) is already a pretty big leap, in terms of style and language. There are MUCH fewer instances of banned words, like ‘very’, and the overall flow of sentences is improved. Yes, SOW still has some plot holes, some info dumps and some random encounters, but these are minor when compared to EQ.
Then The Queen’s Fury (QF). Folks, I’ve never read this book again after publishing it, so I can’t tell you if it’s better or not. Haha. I can’t even remember everything that happens between the pages. There’s a deep fear in me that keeps me from reading QF again, and I can’t really explain it. Maybe it’s completion angst, who knows.
Anyway, all of this prattling was to get to this point.
I’m going to edit these books. I really, REALLY, need to, because it’s been driving me insane for a long time. OK fine, even more insane.
I’m still revising TPA and will do a last call for betas soon, then it’s off for another round of edits. If all goes well, it will be published middle next year. This book has taken much longer to polish than the others. Sure, I had some editor problems before I met Nerine, and that delayed the process by months. The truth is, much more effort has gone into TPA so far, than all three the other books combined. I want to feel proud of this one, which isn’t something I feel AT ALL for Evangellion, especially EQ.
And that, above anything else, is why I want to edit the books. I don’t want to put my hands in the air anymore and say ‘Please don’t read these books’. I want to be able to talk about Evangellion with as much passion as I did when I just started writing – the way I gush about TPA now.
Does that make sense? I hope so.
I’m sorry this post is late. If you follow me on social media, you’ll know my website service was down yesterday and well into today. The problem has been sorted for now.
Thanks for stopping by!
One response to “To Be Proud”
[…] first books I’d ever penned involved enormous monsters called anarchists, even bigger ones simply knows as the Five, and the […]