To Be Proud

When I first started writing, I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t, but I’m growing. If there’s one thing in life I hate, it’s stagnating. I’ve mentioned this before.

Where writing is concerned, I really think I have grown and I try to learn more with every word squeezed out through my fingertips. All I want to do, is to share the stories in my mind with you, in such a way that you and I pass something between us telepathically, like Stephen King says. I want the stories that keep me up at night, to keep you up too.

So, growing.

These are my first babies.


When I read the Rise of the Exile Queen (EQ) now, I kind of smile and cringe at the same time. I still love the story and I still feel that rush when I think about how I felt when I typed out each scene. I remember the songs that were playing, the temperature and the lateness of the hour when I worked.

This was my first ever complete book, discounting the single one I wrote in high school (spoiler alert, that one SUCKED). The idea of EQ makes me happy. Something about Eva’s story will always have a special place in my heart, and writing this took me on a journey that taught me loads. It was a stairway upwards, a seedling that sprouted a tree. And that’s what makes it special.

This book, though, it’s riddled with mistakes. Info dumps as long as my arm, plot holes through which the entire manuscript could sink away, head hops into unidentifiable tenses and random encounters that don’t mean anything, let alone progress the story. Whenever someone mentions EQ, I wince. I get defensive. I often advise that people not read it, or that they ignore the glaring mistakes (if possible).

From EQ to the Song of War (SOW) is already a pretty big leap, in terms of style and language. There are MUCH fewer instances of banned words, like ‘very’, and the overall flow of sentences is improved. Yes, SOW still has some plot holes, some info dumps and some random encounters, but these are minor when compared to EQ.

Then the Queen’s Fury (QF). Folks, I’ve never read this book again after publishing it, so I can’t tell you if it’s better or not. Haha. I can’t even remember everything that happens. There’s a deep fear in me that keeps me from reading QF again, and I can’t really explain it. Maybe it’s completion angst, who knows.

Anyway, all of this prattling was to get to this point.

I’m going to edit these books. I really, REALLY, need to, because it’s been driving me insane for a long time. OK fine, even more insane. I’m probably not going to have them edited by a professional (depending on a lot of factors), but I’ll apply everything I’ve learned from working with an amazing editor on TPA.

I think it would be stupid to do a complete overhaul on books that have been available for purchase for such a long time. Let’s say I were to plug the plot holes, for instance, it may alter the general story line. For that reason, I might just leave all of the info dumps and structure problems, and stick to fixing the language and grammar. If you don’t agree, let me know.

Then, to make up for the fact that people have spent money to buy the books, I’m going to make them available for free download for a while. I’ll let you know when the time comes. The printed versions of the novels are so damn expensive (because they’re print on demand), that I might stick to selling only e-books, at least until I have the funds to have some copies printed. To be honest, though, I’ll probably stick to printing and distributing TPA, and not worry so much about the Evangellion trilogy. Again, if you have ideas about this, let me know.

I’m still revising TPA and will do a last call for betas soon, then it’s off for another round of edits. If all goes well, it will be published early to middle next year. This book has taken much longer to polish than the others. Sure, I had some editor problems before I met Nerine, and that did delay the process by months. The truth is, much more effort has gone into TPA so far, than all three the other books combined. I want to feel proud of this one, which isn’t something I feel AT ALL for Evangellion, especially EQ.

And that, above anything else, is why I want to edit the books. I don’t want to put my hands in the air anymore and say ‘Please don’t read these books’. I want to be able to talk about Evangellion with as much passion as I did when I just started writing – the way I gush about TPA now.

Does that make sense? I hope so.

I’m sorry this post is late. If you follow me on social media, you’ll know my website service was down yesterday and well into today. The problem has been sorted for now.

Thanks for stopping by!


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