A while ago, a friend suggested that I write something on this topic. Yea, I’ve been trying. Do I have a nice, glowy outcome planned for this post? No. Not at all. #idontknowwhatimdoing
All I know is that this is something I struggle with immensely, especially when I’m obsessing. As in now.
Being in the moment is difficult enough in our day-to-day lives. I mean, we’re bombarded with things to consume from all angles. We can access anything from our phones, which means from anywhere we have wifi reception. So checking Twitter while at a coffee date with a friend is totally doable, and also kind of the norm.
It started with the best of intentions, I swear. I have a half-typed post that was intended for Friday, but my routine was upheaved and that’s where my shit was lost. I went out with Kayla and some friends on Friday morning and returned home after my usual blog-uploading time. I got busy. Kayla had a nasty fall and required more attention than usual (she’s fine now, don’t worry).
Then, after dinner, I realised I’d forgotten to blog altogether. It was a hectic kind of day.
For me, it started way back when with Red Alert 2 and Age of Empires – still one of the best strategy games out there.
Actually, that might be inaccurate. The first game I tirelessly played was Frogger, when I was a wee tadpole myself, then it moved to Tetris and Super Mario. Red Alert and AOE came after that.
Last week, I mentioned the rain being late. Yeah. Not long after I posted that, it came down in buckets. The rain didn’t stop until Friday afternoon, when the weather jerked into spring mode. As in, it went from cool indoors and winter-jacket-cold outside to ‘hey, we’re in short sleeves, please turn off the heating’. I don’t know how long this about-face will last, but for now, the sunshine is great.
For some reason, the weather situation affected me too. I finished the short story edit on Friday, but didn’t write another word for the rest of the weekend. (Total procrastination and zombie-mindset on my behalf.) This weekend was for the family and catching up on some zees. In fact, Jan was the one working for a change. 🙂
At this stage, I’m unable to think straight, but I’ve had some questions from friends and family and I want to answer them.
Question 1 – How’s it going, Yolandie? *nervous laughter* Added to the fact that I’m revising like a madwoman, it’s been an icky week on the sleep scale. AKA, I’m not getting any. Life as a mom, eh? This means I’m not as sharp as I want to be writing-wise, but hey, surviving. Someone should hashtag that.
It’s a well-known fact (at least if you’ve hung around the blog) that I really admire my editor, Nerine Dorman. She’s taught me so much about writing that I barely recognise my old work these days, and I’m hopefully still improving.
A while back, I grabbed a compilation four of her stories on Amazon. No, I’m not a stalker! *creeps back into my dark corner* I got it for research. Really, to learn. Obviously, I learned something, or I wouldn’t be writing this. 😀 So, this entire post may read like a big quest to gain brownie points, which is why I’ve been putting it off for so long.
The truth is I want to howl at the moon over this novel.
Last year this time, we had maybe an afternoon of sunshine every two weeks. The drizzle was constant, predictable like the beat of my heart. Depressing too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of rain. I come from a place where the thunderstorms are legendary, with rushes of rain like waterfalls and crashing thunder like battles in the sky. Hard rain – I love that. This misty, more-like-wet-wind-than-actual-rain? Hate it.
Still, it left its mark. Last year this time, everything was green. Some trees had already started to blossom and the air smelled sweet and earthy. Spring showers (showers, ha) transformed our surroundings to something magical – something Johannesburgers aren’t used too. I mean, Jozi is awesome, but doesn’t have the same amount of trees and forested areas as we do here in Germany.
Because February wasn’t hectic enough to start with, you know. That’s why I figured I’d do this thing. Like with Inktober, the idea was to make art every day of February, sticking to the fandoms you love.
In the end, I failed to draw every day, but at least I had fun making those artworks that I did.
I’ve been watching Tessa Violet for around two years now and she’s become one of my favourite YouTubers. Why? Well, she’s what I’m not. 🙂 She shares, openly, all of her thoughts and fears, and even rethinks some of her older video topics. If she’s evolved, she’ll explain how she’s learned to accept parts of herself that she previously denied or disliked.
I find that both brave and admirable. Sharing so much of yourself on the internet is (IMO) a scary choice, but it’s also a great way to document growth. And that’s what I’m attempting.
To continue Monday’s tone, I’d like to share some of my thoughts on handling creativity while dealing with angst, in a kind of late reply to a video of Tessa’s. Hers is specifically about creativity and depression, but I find many of the core ideas are totally relatable even when measured against mental issues other than depression.
I know Mondays are supposed to be for Weekends in Pictures, but this weekend didn’t go down in that kind of way. While I do have a few photos, they’re just of stolen moments in between, and I want to keep them for our personal records.
So, this is another update post, to keep you informed and my schedule running. 🙂