Welcome to my captain’s log, day who the hell even knows anymore. We’ve been isolating since mid-March and are officially in the third new month of doing this weird thing. Seven weeks. But I guess it’s normal now?
Everything is weird. My husband had a birthday this week, but it didn’t really feel that way. My kid has online classes. I’m suddenly a teacher too, and I’ve known my entire life that I’m not cut out for teaching (and I’m from a family of teachers). But again, I guess this is normal now.
The emotions come and go. Most of the time, I fluctuate between this isn’t so bad, and shit, I’m freaking out. This morning is the second one. I’ll be fine, fine, fine, then lose myself at random, freak out for a day or two, then be fine, fine, fine. And I don’t want this to be normal.
I’ve read so many different articles about dealing with this global pandemic. Most of them offer different advice or opinions. You go on social media and there are the naysayers, the people who think it’s not so bad (do me a favour and have a look at what’s going on in New York and Sweden) the people who are in full-fledged panic mode, and the minority of us who are hovering in the middle. It’s hard to know what to think and how to feel.
My energy levels are low, and I don’t really have tolerance for being online. I took a bunch of photos for my Instagram in advance, and they’re cluttering my scheduling app, but I don’t have the drive to actually post them. The same with blog posts. It’s a chore to sit here and write this, though admittedly, it does feel good to get it out.
I don’t mean to post this to bring you down. This is as much as blog post as a record of what my mental state is during Covid-19 for one day in the future, when I can tell my grandkids stories about it.
Meanwhile, I’ve reached almost 100k words on A Curse of Venom & Scales, and guess what? As of this morning, I’m rewriting.
So excuse me, I have a book to write.